My school years
The first thing that I have to mention about my school life was that for the early part of it I had to wear a patch over my good eye, this was to try and rectify the lazy eye which, to be honest, I couldn't see anything out of other than a blurred mess. This made it very difficult as I couldn't see the blackboard or read any books etc. unless I cheated and lifted a bit of the corner of the patch off my good eye. So you can imagine I already got the mick took out of me for this.
The teacher in her infinite wisdom went and made it worse by putting me on the idiots table at the front of the class. I call it the idiots table, in truth it was two double desks at the front where kids who were either a little bit slower than others or a little bit more naughty than the others were made to sit. The funny thing was that it seemed to be the same 4 children for the entire infants and junior school.
The worse thing about sitting at these desks was for some reason (which I now know to be down to the teachers ignorance of human behavior) we never got picked to take part in any projects or do any of the nice things that other children got to do and to cap it all the teachers seem to enjoy letting us and the other kids know how inferior we were.
Once you're labelled as a dunce its very hard to show any other sort of potential, so it seemed pretty normal to take up the challenge and become the class fool. This brought more problems because, as the class fool, other kids would often ridicule and bully me. I hated it but I was to frightened to fight for myself so I would often end up just standing there crying. Teachers didn't care and if I went home and told my Mom and Dad they would just say things like you'll be better before you get married. My dad was particularly good at these sort of answers, if I asked what something was for he would say its for knocking talk out of gabby people. Or if used the word if, it would be if your aunt had balls she would be your uncle. I don't think I ever got just a straight answer. This is probably why for many years I stopped asking questions. My brother Jimmy would tell me to fight for myself but I didn't know how. So in the end I didn't bother telling anyone about the bullying, I just took it day after day for my whole school life.
Whilst at junior school my Uncles did some work on the roof there which, to all accounts, was not to good. We also had a new headmaster at the time who for some reason took an instant dislike to me, looking back I think the two were connected. Life at school took a nose dive, if thats possible from already being in a very low position. Suddenly I found myself in his office all the time. One year I spent every single break time and lunchtime outside his office writing lines. I hated him and I hated school.
There was one thing that I did love and that was rugby. It was the only thing in junior school that I was any good at. You see I was the short fat kid with glasses that nobody picked in school line up's for football or anything else for that matter, so I always ended up in goals. I never ever learned to play football and to this day I hate the game, but rugby I loved, when I had that ball in my hands I became a different person. I wasn't frightened of anybody. I remember a few years later playing at senior school and it was the same, Mr Davis stood on the lines whenever I had the ball chanting mean machine, mean machine. I was the most powerful person in the world with a rugby ball in my hands, unfortunately it wasn't the case off the pitch.
Anyway, I was picked for the junior school rugby team, I was so happy, finally something good had happened at school that I could go home and tell my Mom about. Sad to say the happiness wasn't to last long. The very next day at break time we were made to stay inside due to the rain. Towards the end of the break I went to the toilet, whilst in there the bell rang to return to class. I washed my hands and started back. On the way my form teacher shouted at me " what was I doing out of class after the bell rang" I replied that I had been to the toilet. He shouted at me again "don't be cheeky" I answered him back that I wasn't being cheeky. He grabbed me and slapped the backs of my legs so hard that his hand print didn't go away for days after. I was sobbing. He sent me to see the headmaster for being cheeky and I then got the cane. I was also told that I would not be in the rugby team. I was heart broken, I walked out of school and made my way home. It was to be the last time I would step foot in the place. When my mom saw the state I was in and the teachers hand print on my legs she went straight down to the school. I don't know what happened but a week later I started a new school, I only had six months left at juniors.
So there I was in a new school and within a week I was on the naughty table with another kid called Roy. That was the pattern. I had been labeled a dunce so I ended up acting like one my entire school life. That's how I saw myself. I didn't believe I could do anything so I just didn't bother trying. I was twenty two before I began to believe that I had any talents or capabilities, and it was all down to teachers and parents that didn't understand the concept of nurturing. Thats why today when my children or anybody else asks me a question I try and give the best answer I can, and if I don't know I will either find out or tell them who they can get the answer from.
I was ten years old when I was thrown out of the rugby team for going to the toilet, but there were to take place a series of events whilst I was ten that would effect my life for the next 25 years.